Rejection is good sometimes

Receiving a rejection can feel uncomfortable for anyone, even though it's an inevitable part of life.

Leslie Becker Phelps, PhD, a famous American psychologist, said that in some cases, rejection can even lead to depression and anxiety.

Why does rejection hurt?

Rejections often feel uncomfortable, not because we are weak or overly sensitive. This is from an evolutionary perspective, and we desperately need others to accept us.

According to psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb, people depend on living in groups to survive. Therefore, when someone rejects you, you find yourself lacking in value. In addition, the need for connection exists within us from birth. So some people have a harder time getting over rejection.

Of all the types of rejection, being rejected by someone you love feels the worst because it means feeling abandoned.

However, in reality, saying no or accepting it can actually benefit you. It can help you become more mature and resilient in life.

How to deal with rejection?

Practice self-care

Anger and hurt are likely to be your immediate reactions to rejection. However, this does not help reduce negative emotions, and is even likely to increase bad emotions.

In these times, taking care of yourself is really important. Start with self-soothing, which involves calming each of your five senses. That could include eating well, drinking your favorite beverage, wearing comfortable clothes, running, doing yoga, meditating... All of these can help you get in the balance to think clearly. more about the situation instead of thinking in terms of personal feelings.

Take time to process your emotions

After taking some time to calm down, it's important to pay attention to what you're feeling. Literally all the emotions you are feeling should be listed. According to Becker-Phelps, your emotions are never right or wrong, they are simply feelings.

Avoid self-pity

After being rejected, we tend to torment ourselves about the things that might have caused us to be rejected. However, this habit definitely makes us feel worse. It's best to write down some positive things about yourself, for example a list of some of your strengths and values. This will help you feel stronger.

Seeking support

The most important thing you need to remember is that life is not a one time rejection. Don't forget that you always have a lot of people around like family, friends... Look to them for spiritual support. It reminds us of how lovely we are, how people care about us, and whether we deserve it or not," Gottlieb said.

Healthy living

Rejection can make you not sleep enough, not eat well... However, this only makes you more tired. Focus on eating well, exercising regularly, and staying hydrated. All of this helps keep you strong in the face of rejection. "The healthier your lifestyle is, the more resources you'll have to deal with difficult situations," Becker-Phelps emphasizes.

Don't hesitate

Never let rejection stop you from trying in the future. After all, rejection is an inevitable part of life. All successful people have experienced it, at one time or another. Gottlieb says: "The most important thing is not to dwell on the sadness of being rejected. Ask the question: What can I learn from this experience?".